Hi, it’s been a while. What happened? Oh, just a handful of local, state, and global crises. This pandemic, devastating effects of climate change, the assault on women’s rights in my state, and truly heartbreaking global events have really weighed on me. I don’t know if it’s being a mom, my age, or simply the person that I am, but I tend to carry these things with me to the point that I feel responsibility to change them. Any normal person would know there are limits in our ability to control situations, but I’m not a normal person. That release came when I came across this verse from the Quran I knew, but had forgotten: ‘Allah alone is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs’ (3:173). While I now have more peace with understanding what is in my control and what is not, I still haven’t found a balance of posting authentic content within the context of some pretty heavy stuff going on around me.
On top of that, I have been struggling with my occupation as an influencer. Modestly Speaking was started with the intention of being of service to women who choose to wear clothes that cover more than they don’t. As someone who has always had an interest in fashion and has helped friends find the perfect pieces for events, I thought it would be useful to extend that helpfulness to others. A fashion blog seemed like the easiest way to do it – I enjoy fashion and I like to write. I truly started out with the intention of being a fashion BLOGGER, meaning this website was supposed to be it.
However, as we all know, anybody worth knowing is on social and a huge following, right? Despite not wanting to, my experience and understanding of the influencer industry made it clear that it was necessary to be largely present on social media in order to earn any sort of meaningful income. The focus became growing followers and increasing engagement. I didn’t love it, but understood it was part of the job of an influencer. My discomfort worsened when social media platforms added the expectation of being an entertainer. Stepping out of your comfort zone is one thing, being a performer for the sake of a platform is another. In that moment I felt like I had to choose between showing up inauthentically or not at all. I chose the latter, for that I apologize.
The time away has helped me gain some clarity. Mostly by thinking about why I started in the first place. My why has always been you, my dear reader. I want you to to be confident in dressing modestly. When you walk into a room wearing a dress with twice the fabric than most others, I don’t want you to bat an eye because you look good, you feel good, and you belong there. I think it’s very important for you to know that.
So, now what? I’m ready to be present and to connect. Perhaps not in the same manner though. During this time I have been working on something I think will be of greater benefit to women who continue to struggle to find modest clothing to fit our multifaceted lifestyles. It’s not quite ready to share with the world but I promise you, my Modestly Speaking friends, you will be the first to know.